My whole life

i dont know why i hate my life so much,
like i wanted to be someone else
i wanted people to like me,
(yeah right like i haven't been doing anything i can to like me)
i wanted them to treat me like they treat others
you know like trust me, love me care for me
that's the biggest problem i have ever
because i give my trust to everybody
(even give second chances)
and all they do is waste it
i never even ask anything in return
but they wanted me to prove myself
like damn they!!!
Do they helly know how I am tired of proving myself to them!
but all they'll say is we never ask you to prove something to us!
Hell they don't!!!
Crap!!!! and im spoiling them like i give them everything they ever want
and tall they doooooo! is what?!!!
waste it and not even thanking me!
everything i hear about the sayings is true!
Like don't give too much love to someone because it'll create an incurable
pain, when they leave you.
and i don't even know why i still stick up with them!
gosh!!!!!!
i hate this life!
i just want to be someone who they'll like, trust and love!
but like what they say be yourself
like how the hell! am i going to be myself when they hate who I am!
and mind you i am so sick of the word sorry!!1
I hear it everytime!!1
and especially from the boy i love!
great!!!!
now i'm even tired of loving him!!!
why am i loving him anyway!!!!
im tired of understanding him!
but wait
this is suppose to be all about my friends
now i'm talking about him
oh but anyway
we are not officially together
so his consider as my friend!
weeeeelll guess that's just the beginning of having one
hell of a life!!!!

Signing out
Lisha

school time

my days in school are fun hectic and really stressing me out
specially not that im on my senior year=)
can't believe im going to college next year. weelll im missing my friends in malaybalay already
and well im not sure about my lovelife right now its not a promising story=)
guess thats all for today im in a hurry actually=)
ciao=)

honesty? whatev!!!

you told me you were honest with me,
you said that you would always be honest with me, and here
i am trusting you blindly like i never trusted anyone.
What did i get in return?! LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you told me you love me, how could you expect me to believe the words you
just said when you lied to me!!! you could have told me that you were not able recover from the blow i gave you!!!!
OKAY i admit i hurt you but only because i was honest to you but not to myself
you see, i was afraid to admit to myself that i have fallen deeply inlove with you,
and now look what i'm doing i'm pushing you away from me because i know i was never
the ideal girl for you and for the record if you really loved me or if you ever did!
you would have been honest to me in everything!!!!!!!
so you were never honest with me that leaves me like????
OH i SEE STUPID for falling for the trap!!!!!!
honesty?????!!!!! WHATEV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what would like to be?

so theres this question in this movie=) would you like to be a friendless looser? or would you like to have friends who secretly hate you? if you ask me i'd rather be a friendless looser, know why? cause if i do have friends who secretly hate me it just like making a fool of myself and saying like i'm the worst looser ever, and like duh im use to working alone anyway, i never got use to you know working in groups, i found out i can discover more of myself in working alone than working with partners and that way i can't also blame someone else if i get mistakes. wanna know what else i do feel like i'm a friendless looser even though i do have friends, i don't know why i feel so bad about myself, like i don't have self-confidence and i pity myself and i don't even know or feel if someone really likes me=)
at least i know people can laugh around me, but the worst part is i have friends who
i think never have been happy around me like they keep secrets or they
back-bite me.... well that is terrible i know, and the good part is
i don't care like for all i care is improving myself
like maybe boost my confidence or maybe
overcome my bad babble mouth who can't control
when it starts talking at least now I'm mindful of what i say
or before i say it=) that is a total major improvement like if i succeed i would
totally give myself a pat in the back like that would be a great accomplishment
since like I'm a blabber mouth since i was a kid and it would be
a great thing if i overcome it now!
and maybe i could be you know more friendly to anybody
or maybe smile all the time so i can be approachable and you know try not
to scare people away but i think i can't help it if i don't know people that
well i raise my defenses like i'll be saying like ooooopss new people around
and i don't want people to get to know me like nobody has ever been really close
to me to know everything about me, cause im totaly careful not to
give in myself cause i believe that the more the person knows you the more
she or he will know how to hurt you and how yo use you
or even cheat on you, that is why i keep somethings to myself like i don't want to be cheated
or anything, worst i don't want to humiliate myself..
so guess thats all for today people good night.

hamelisham signing of=)♥♥

i don't know why?

hey guys guess im back but i don't have mushc to say today,
all i can say is im not inlove with this boy but then
i miss him, i don't know but since after summer our communication
got a little out, he rarely texts me and he does not call me sunday in the evening
it's like his given up on me, well i won't be surprised because
nobody can stand my harshness=)
i don't know, maybe he found someone new i won't be surprise either because
i'm totally no that special=) and im totally not that beautiful and smart=) so no big deal
its just that i miss him that's all

the story of a girl

she has friends or so she thought they were
and she wants them to like her she is trying so hard to please them
she wants people to like her.
she wants people to love her, but then they only see her as just another bother in the life
a crap that needs to be disposed and though she wants them they never liked her.
she blames herself for the things she never did although she
knows it was not her fault she blames herself,
she was never treated special, she describes herself as NOBODY
she has difficulty forgiving herself and she pities herself for not giving her all
to her friends, or at least that is what she calls them.
Everybody thinks she is something at the beginning but when they get to know her
they'll now how crap what she really is=(
and you know what more
she hates herself for being such a crap in their life
she wishes to dispose herself and would gladly
thank whoever the person who'll end it up for her
let me introduce you the GIRL

yours truly,
Lisha=( shocked? don't be it's what i feel or should i say what i see=(

summer is over and there are etc things more

i can't believe that summer has finally end i'm starting my 4th year life my gosh!!
i don't want to believe it! and particularly i've noticed something about myself
i have become less talkative, around my friends but how come not with melgie and ate=)
or even amulek=) im not very talkative with guys especially with GUYS=)
but then again i think that's part of growing up don't you think=)
well the worst part is im having foot aches hahahahahaha
i don't know if that is the right term to be used=)
i weelllll the good part is i have my allowance and i can buy lod and call my friends
im not using my smart anymore even though i don't have a lot of textmates
in my globe its not the network its the textmates that counts well thats a new saying
don't you think hahahahahahahahahaha
and here is the more shocking news i belong to the first section
and i wonder why other people don't seem to think that this news is shocking!
well i'll give you my point of view
they have sooooooo much faith in me that i'm beginning
to feel the pressure and beginning to freak out
they have so much faith in my abilities and my brain
while i have total zero confidence=(
that is not good right?
what is gonna happen to me????
anyone got a clue?

my changes and who is behind it

hello guys i guess i'm back
well you now i want to introduce to you my bff
well not likely introduce but share to you
what i like to them and what i saw in them that i can say they are my bff
well first they gave no they influenced me greatly
and when i say greatly i mean a great deal=)
well before i went to this summer vacation i was such a bad kid
i don't do my personal progress (for those who are latter-day saints, they will know what a personal progress is) and worst my mom scolds me just to make me
feed the dogs and i keep frowning and i don't pray like the individual
prayer and scripture study and i keep bickering my sister
well now that i have returned well now i can see a big change in me
i don't frown now and i do my chores without being told and i do my personal progress and i pray and read the scriptures...
see the big difference and i don't know if my friends can read this but if they do
i want them to know that they have influenced and changed my life for the better and i like the new me,
thanks to them well they are the main reason actually and i love them thanks
well now i am going to mention their names so that you can also know who
im talking about well their names are Hanah and Melgie=)

signing off

music jams_lisha=)

the best summer ever

wow i thought i would die of this boring summer but then hey guess what it turned out to be the best summer ever i attended the dyc in malaybalay and then i met new friends two in particular and im very fond of them too actually i 'consider them my best friends already their names are Hanahlo and Melgie=)
i had the very best time with them=) they are soooooooo nice and the best thats why now that im going home and i wont be seeing them for a long time im really crying and i can't believe it for the first time im actually crying hehehehehe because im going to crazily miss them so many good and crazy memo with them then after dyc i went to manila for our temple trip well it went well but ovcourse can't wait to go back to malaybalay and after the temple trip i went to malaybalay on a bus trip on my own!! can you believe that! it was sooooo amazing really!
now im going home and i have cried 3 times over my friends bacause i am totaly gonna miss them
well thats all for now=)
until next time
ciao

lisha signing off

vacation

wow, had a great day today, and probably a great summer ahead
i have the greatest time with my cousins and soo
and i'm going to cagayan this tuesday
im having problems anyway
and im worried about my mom she is sick
but i know she'll make it out this one out
she is tough
and i'm not with i could be like her tough and smart
but well im not disappointing isn't it and i know
i can learn to be one but hey
you cant just change in just a blink of an eye
too bad but anyway i'll be gone for a couple of weeks
and i'll be writing to you soon as i come home

ciao people=) love you all


mjams signing out

happenings in life

wow this day i had a window shopping with my friend, we ate ice cream and everything, my mom is planning to have our vacation, this saturday or monday, and we have this training, and now i am typing a blog entry.wow can't believe my luck, it's a miracle my crush has a crush for me too my gosh now i have the reason to be come and emo punk and not a purely emo who scratches herself... seriously guys i do scratch thing in my hand when i have this heartaches or even the family problems and then now i have the reason not to do it... well i guess it's thats just for today, i'll be back with more updates soon...

mJamS

A great boring summer

well i guess i don't have to tell you how I'm dying here of boredom this is so not the summer i have been waiting. I do all the house hold chores around here and do the errands this is so not good, like i don't get the usual help i get and i'm not even getting paid for it, and whats worst the weather here makes me soooooo sleepy, its very hot here its like 37 degrees all the time, even the fan won't help me cool down.. I can't go to the mall or anywhere it's like i have been sentenced to house arrest for atleast two unbearable months!! this is sooo not funny and what's more i can't get the hold of this computer for a verry long time!!!!!!

this is obviously driving me nuts!!!!!!!!!
like there are no asylum near!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS KILLING ME