what would like to be?

so theres this question in this movie=) would you like to be a friendless looser? or would you like to have friends who secretly hate you? if you ask me i'd rather be a friendless looser, know why? cause if i do have friends who secretly hate me it just like making a fool of myself and saying like i'm the worst looser ever, and like duh im use to working alone anyway, i never got use to you know working in groups, i found out i can discover more of myself in working alone than working with partners and that way i can't also blame someone else if i get mistakes. wanna know what else i do feel like i'm a friendless looser even though i do have friends, i don't know why i feel so bad about myself, like i don't have self-confidence and i pity myself and i don't even know or feel if someone really likes me=)
at least i know people can laugh around me, but the worst part is i have friends who
i think never have been happy around me like they keep secrets or they
back-bite me.... well that is terrible i know, and the good part is
i don't care like for all i care is improving myself
like maybe boost my confidence or maybe
overcome my bad babble mouth who can't control
when it starts talking at least now I'm mindful of what i say
or before i say it=) that is a total major improvement like if i succeed i would
totally give myself a pat in the back like that would be a great accomplishment
since like I'm a blabber mouth since i was a kid and it would be
a great thing if i overcome it now!
and maybe i could be you know more friendly to anybody
or maybe smile all the time so i can be approachable and you know try not
to scare people away but i think i can't help it if i don't know people that
well i raise my defenses like i'll be saying like ooooopss new people around
and i don't want people to get to know me like nobody has ever been really close
to me to know everything about me, cause im totaly careful not to
give in myself cause i believe that the more the person knows you the more
she or he will know how to hurt you and how yo use you
or even cheat on you, that is why i keep somethings to myself like i don't want to be cheated
or anything, worst i don't want to humiliate myself..
so guess thats all for today people good night.

hamelisham signing of=)♥♥

i don't know why?

hey guys guess im back but i don't have mushc to say today,
all i can say is im not inlove with this boy but then
i miss him, i don't know but since after summer our communication
got a little out, he rarely texts me and he does not call me sunday in the evening
it's like his given up on me, well i won't be surprised because
nobody can stand my harshness=)
i don't know, maybe he found someone new i won't be surprise either because
i'm totally no that special=) and im totally not that beautiful and smart=) so no big deal
its just that i miss him that's all

the story of a girl

she has friends or so she thought they were
and she wants them to like her she is trying so hard to please them
she wants people to like her.
she wants people to love her, but then they only see her as just another bother in the life
a crap that needs to be disposed and though she wants them they never liked her.
she blames herself for the things she never did although she
knows it was not her fault she blames herself,
she was never treated special, she describes herself as NOBODY
she has difficulty forgiving herself and she pities herself for not giving her all
to her friends, or at least that is what she calls them.
Everybody thinks she is something at the beginning but when they get to know her
they'll now how crap what she really is=(
and you know what more
she hates herself for being such a crap in their life
she wishes to dispose herself and would gladly
thank whoever the person who'll end it up for her
let me introduce you the GIRL

yours truly,
Lisha=( shocked? don't be it's what i feel or should i say what i see=(

summer is over and there are etc things more

i can't believe that summer has finally end i'm starting my 4th year life my gosh!!
i don't want to believe it! and particularly i've noticed something about myself
i have become less talkative, around my friends but how come not with melgie and ate=)
or even amulek=) im not very talkative with guys especially with GUYS=)
but then again i think that's part of growing up don't you think=)
well the worst part is im having foot aches hahahahahaha
i don't know if that is the right term to be used=)
i weelllll the good part is i have my allowance and i can buy lod and call my friends
im not using my smart anymore even though i don't have a lot of textmates
in my globe its not the network its the textmates that counts well thats a new saying
don't you think hahahahahahahahahaha
and here is the more shocking news i belong to the first section
and i wonder why other people don't seem to think that this news is shocking!
well i'll give you my point of view
they have sooooooo much faith in me that i'm beginning
to feel the pressure and beginning to freak out
they have so much faith in my abilities and my brain
while i have total zero confidence=(
that is not good right?
what is gonna happen to me????
anyone got a clue?